Small Victories

Friday night, Aunt Viv called to let me know that there would be a special harvesters meeting on Monday. I thought about it and said I would try and make it; she called again on Monday to remind me. When Monday rolled around I was fighting another sinusitis flare up, severe pain.
On my way home I said to myself, I was in too much pain to go and further more, I didn't want to. I've been dealing with resentment; on my drive home God asked me, "Laura, after all I have taken you through, when will you let me use you?" I didn't answer, I just said "God, I'm scared and I don't want to go." The struggle that took place within me after, thoughts of inadequacy, of being worried about people hurting me with their words, of not meeting everyone's expectations. I said Lord, clearly I don't have the peace to stay home so I'm going to go.
I remember the closing of 2011 I said to myself 2012 will be my year. And it is.
My year for love. My year for financial security, My year for the best relationships. My year to be happy, My year to live. My year to serve. My year to meet the Laura God has been working on, even to glimpse at her.
Needless to say I got home, I showered and stepped right back out. I went to church, and I was blessed to have been there. I felt so proud of myself. So good to be reminded that yes I'm favoured too by God. I am His beloved and O He is mine.
I rejoice in the Lord. He is faithful, even when we have forgotten. I am living proof, God doesn't give up, and he takes us just as we are.

 Originally published in 2012