Revelation - Live Light

I was sitting in my doctor's office today. And as I found a seat by this Caucasian elderly man reading a book on teaching techniques I surveyed the room of patients waiting patiently to see my doctor.

Two faces I remembered from previous visits.

It occurred to me that I have been coming to my doctor too frequently for me to have remembered these two ladies. I was not amused. I said to myself "O Laura! Laura! Laura! Laura! What are you doing?"

It was in that single moment after two in the afternoon that I had this dialogue with myself.

The Revelation:

I am sitting here because of asthma, an illness I had recently developed over the last couple of months. I  am also suffering from a persistent cough. Am I going to live the rest of my life on medication and an illness I am not familiar with? Between the asthma/persistent cough/ and tonsillitis you cannot even sing? How much more joy will you lose?

My asthma/persistent cough/ tonsillitis are all caused by stress. Never had them until my life was turned upside down!

That means something!

And if it does then I can stop all this madness.

I can take control!

I will.
Starting over I am going to take control of my stress before it takes control of me. My emotional illness has now manifested itself into a real physical problem one that is costing me dearly and Laura haven't I lost enough. Paid enough for something I didn't ask for.

I agreed with my better self of course.
I need to start living light.

Living Light- Doing away with the things that I would love to matter but do not. Putting down my worries for things I cannot change. Accepting what is and is not.

Starting with 'I accept that I love a man that no longer love me.'

I am not the first woman to have experienced this. And this love; my love is real, it's tangible. But it isn't the end of the world.

I'm on my journey to discover me patiently.

Originally published in 2011