God has a way when He strips away everything and sometimes people in our life, bit by bit.
When I was a teenage girl, I wasn't much for crowds, there were evenings when I came home from school and I would walk the hill in my granddad's backyard and watch the sunset. I would sit and look up at the sky, or I would be lying on the barbecue for the tank feeling the warmth off the hard concrete against my skin making shapes out of the clouds above and dream.
I never felt out of place alone. But as I got older and I started added to my life - people, school then work, friends, church activities - you know the things that I thought added much needed value to self and to life. All too soon I had forgotten what alone felt like.
Until now....
I'm learning to accept the skin I'm in; to be grateful for the moments with friends, and the time alone. I'm coming into me, all too strange; yet so familiar.
I-kid-you-not it's so unfamiliar that there have been some alone times I just cry them out, but then there are the precious ones where I can see my own growth and acknowledge "Yes Laura, your own skin feels real good." Heck at times I catch myself laughing. I get to pray more; read my bible more; write, sing, sift through the thoughts and feelings and I get to put things into perspective; or just simply BE. It's well needed.
But the truth is, I need time with myself; to enjoy myself, like I would if there was a man to fall in love with.
As I add to my life once again, this time around I acknowledge; My skin, my company is comfortable to live in and worthy of my time; A value packed item I'd like to keep.
Originally published on August 27, 2011.
