Post Birthday, Congratulations & Lifestyle Challenge Update I

So I have been meaning to make this post before my birthday came, but I didn't get around to it.

Lifestyle Challenge Update

2 weeks later...

I have been trying to maintain my exercise routine.
For the first 2 weeks that just went, it involved walking, planking and doing some squats and pushups. I'm hoping to make this more streamlined and be more disciplined.

Walking

So walking is a habit I've been maintaining for awhile now, so that wasn't difficult for me. I walk for at least an hour each day, and I walk for 2 days out of the week.  I'm looking to now push myself to power walk/ do some kind of intermediary cardio walking. We will see.

Planking

Planking was hard as ever! Seriously. When I first started my entire body was shaking at like 20s, LOL! But I must say doing it for 2 weeks (not every day, haphazard) I am now maintaining 1m each plank, and I try to do 2-3 sets of planking. AWESOME!  You can YouTube videos on planking if you aren't sure what this is.

Squats

So for squats, I do 25, to be honest I'm not sure if I have been doing these right, they don't hurt, and I don't think I have strong legs like that.

Breathing & Prayer

I have been trying to manage my fear and worrying! I have been using breath and prayer to help me with this.  My Lifestyle Challenge includes all areas of self. So my attitude and how I view and feel about myself is all a part of that.  I am encouraging you to join me on my #NoComplaintThursday! This is one day out of the week I try not to get frustrated, or complain (think / word /act), instead I focus on gratitude. You can join me on twitter as I mark the day, hoping to make this a daily habit, not just a specific day. Let's see how this goes. I must add that I find that the devil tries extra hard to get me to complain, so beware of the obstacle this may be!

Devotions

I started this year on a really good foot.  Been spending time with a devotional I had bought called "After God's Heart" by Mryna Alexander. I also joined gotandem, a customizable experience. They do emails, phone calls, text messages. I recommend not skipping the survey, do it and be honest.  They can help.

Eating

So, I haven't been doing as well as I would like in this area, but I realize I need to plan and prepare, so I will be working out a meal plan to help me on this journey, I will share this with you once I have worked it out. Trying to eat on time, small portions, healthy, natural foods. In the mean time, I will be ensuring to maintain my food portions, eat as natural as possible and drink plenty of water.

 Congratulations Kelly

Before I get into my birthday update I have to, have to, give a shout out to my dear friend Rasheen 'Kelly' Roper. Who was crowned Miss Kingston & St. Andrew Festival Queen. Girl, I am soooo proud of you! You were awesome. And I am looking forward to the Grand Finale, Have every confidence you  will win. You can see pictures from the show over here at my friend Marcus' blog.

POST BIRTHDAY UPDATE

My birthday was this week! OMG! I took the day from work, thanks to a friend who recommended I do. She was like, it doesn't matter if you don't have any money, stay home! What's the point if you come here and someone pisses you off? That wouldn't be cool.  I took her advice. I must say, even though I was broke! No set plans! I was really looking forward to the day. And just knowing I had this one day, I was able to dream about doing anything I wanted. So this is how it turned out.

• Slept late.
• Made french toast for breakfast. Yum!
• Had Breakfast with my lovely Aunt.
• Was taken to the beach and zoo with my Bestie! Totally awesome!
• Had a lovely dinner with my Mom, Her Beau and my Lovely Sis! This was a lovely surprise.
• Came home and slept with a smile.

The love is appreciated. I know I am loved. Not just by others, but I love me too. And this feeling is good. I have some work to complete on me, another journey to start but I'm looking forward to it, All that God has in store.

Every moment will last forever. I loved every bit of it. God is sooo good to me. I am very proud of myself, where I was just 2 years ago and where I am now. There are some remnants of unresolved issues, and new issues to deal with, but I am so grateful God has taken me this far. I am highly-favoured and I know it! 

I would recommend everyone to take the day off for your birthday! Do nothing / Do everything you want to do, whatever it is you decide, but do something you love, spend it with someone or people you love.

P.S. More updates coming soon. and pictures.

Originally Published in 2012

Here are my words

There are so many thoughts going on in my mind.
I wish for someone who will find me unforgettable,
That will be complete on his own, every gap filled with the glory of God.
If all the love I have ever spent on those that have hurt me, that I have hurt,
It's a cost I must pay, I hope he knows its a price well-paid.

For all the alone times I've spent trying to figure out how this skin I'm in fits,
All the tears I've shed for the price I thought was too great.
All the seasons the Lord has brought me through to take me where I am suppose to be.

Here are my words. They aren't much, might travel around the globe,
But here they are.
I've spoken them on many bathroom floors,
chanted them on my knees
reworded, edited, rephrased, written, wiped out.
still here are my words,
Said in prayers,
sang in my song,
here are my words,
On the tip of my tongue on the edge of my lips,
here are my words and they have their own beat,
here are my words spoken in a moment's panic,
in my space of desolation and lacking.
Here are my words Father, as they have always been.

Love. Hurt. Wait. Long. Live. Laugh. Love. Wait. You. Love. God. Help. Love. Eat. Breathe. Love. Walk. Run to me. Love Hurry. No. Love. Wait. Wherever you are. Love. Hear me.


© Laura Jenoure  2012

No safety in now

Would you believe that I actually started typing this post and deleted it, this after staring at the screen for couple of minutes while I wrote the post in my mind?

Job 23 :10 says: But he knoweth the way that I take: when he hath tried me, I shall come forth as gold.

 The devil would have me believe that staying right here, in this moment, is better than moving forward. Better than what is to come. After all, I do not know what is to come.  He would like me to find comfort in the safety of now. In other words he would like me to stop growing, stop searching, stop desiring, stop dreaming, stop hoping, stop resting on the promises of God.

Life is not a moment. Let me type that again. Life is not a moment. 

It is a series of events.  It is a journey.  It is a path we must take, whether you are going to creep, walk, run, drive, ride and die. Everything, from we were born 'til we die, is a progression.  We were not made to stand still. We were not made to not grow. The only way to grow is to step out of the safety of now.  

I had to ask myself this question, when the devil tried to lie to me: What kind of woman do I want to be? Do I want to be the woman that sits idly while time passes? Do I want to be a piece of copper? Or like Job do I want to be gold?  My trials are not in vain, because God has a plan.  My tears are not in vain because, He knows best.  My losses are not in vain, because he is making room.

Don't be disheartened, Dream, and Dream Big. Live and Live Loud. Love and Love with everything you have.  Make everything count.  Don't sit down, get up and dance, Don't be quiet, sing the song of your soul.

Even nature doesn't stand still, the Earth moves, the trees grow, the flowers bloom everything grows, and so do I.  

As do you.

Know this, there is no safety in NOW.  

Originally Published in 2012

Slacking off in class?

So I've been praying a lot about some major decisions that I have made, needed to make. Last night after having a conversation with a new friend, my mind was on the fast lane, so I decided to calm myself down by taking a shower and having some chocolate tea. When I realized I was on the verge of panic mode! I was like 'Girl, Take a step back from yourself. Take a deep breath. What is up with you?'  I literally came out of my bed and got down on my knees, took another deep breath for good measure and as I tried to clear my mind to pray, this one thought transcended.

God is ready for me and I am unprepared!

Tears came to my eyes, I knew I had slacked off on some things I needed to deal with.  I had allowed myself to become complacent. So I knew what I needed to talk to God about, and there on my bedroom floor, on my knees I laid it out before God. The bad, the ugly, the real ugly. I apologized to God because I shouldn't be this behind, and then I apologized to myself because I deserved better, even from myself.

When you have been in a physical traumatic situation, probably broken a few bones, lost your speech, maybe just a shell of who you are suppose to be, you enter rehabilitation.  So it isalso with our emotionally traumatic situations, we need to enter an emotional rehabilitation.

Emotional trauma is just as real as a physical trauma, it's so precarious, you can't see the wounds, can't touch them, but they leave you just as exposed to the harsh elements, maybe not water, not the sun, not germs, but emotional scars can get just as infected as the physical ones, with sin, with dishonesty, with mediocrity, with society-worldly views.

If you are going through something, on the inside, maybe it hasn't been spurred on by lost love, maybe it's just a coming into oneself, just remember, birthing pains are going to hurt, and you may even misjudge yourself and make a bad call. But don't lose hope, your scars are healing. You may not feel it, may not know it but they are, even now, they can heal. Just as much as my physical body needs vitamins and minerals to help it fight infections, my soul needs the Word of God to fight infections. And my God is so gentle, and forgiving.

 Psalm 103: 1-5

1Bless the LORD, O my soul: and all that is within me, bless his holy name.

 2Bless the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits:

 3Who forgiveth all thine iniquities; who healeth all thy diseases;

 4Who redeemeth thy life from destruction; who crowneth thee with lovingkindness and tender mercies;

 5Who satisfieth thy mouth with good things; so that thy youth is renewed like the eagle's. 

It's never too late to get things right, I don't want to live my life knowing I am wasting it away, Get it right. So although He is ready for me and I'm unprepared now, I know He is gearing up for something grand.  2012 is my year.  So I'm going to brush up on what I have outstanding, I'm going to be ready Lord.  As long as I have life, I am able to make a change that I need to make.  There is no point sitting down and letting wounds fester, no point sitting in the classroom wanting to get out and live and your not doing the work to get out. 

Clean up, Live healthy, inside and out and be prepared.

I leave you with this thought I read from today's word for today.

God will not do what I must, and I cannot do what He can.

God's going to do His part, He is going to heal.  He is going to make new.  But I have my part too.

Originally Published in 2012

Love isn't compromise and it isn't Settling.

For those of you who are close to me, you will know that something very, very important happened recently.

I'm still processing my feelings and my thoughts, and hope to share them as I go through them.

Today I wanted to share with you a lesson I'm learning.

"When it comes to love, don't compromise."

It sounds simple enough, but I know that there are very few of us that figure out what this really means on the first try. When I use to think of love, I rarely ever thought about what it would look like when it was returned to me but more of what it would look like when I gave it, I suppose I expected it to resemble, something out of romance novels or from the movies. You know, the roses/chocolates, kissing in the rain/ or simply saying I love you. And yes while those are grand sweet gestures, the truth is they are gestures everyone mimics.  I know love is more than that, but I thought of love and the way I would give it to the person I love; I did that banking on the fact that he would consider how he would reciprocate this kind of love to me.

This chapter of this lesson I'm currently trying to process, is loving myself. I consider if I had loved myself the way I'm trying to now, I wouldn't have settled or compromised for a love that was less than mine, thinking it would be enough if I loved him enough, if I was good enough, if he saw how much I was willing to do for him. Big big big mistake!  Needless to say, if I had loved myself the way I do, even this little, I would have recognized what I needed; and if it didn't resemble what I'm use to, what I give myself then I would have been able to know that this isn't it.

I'm trying to live and love without regrets, but this lesson stands out so clear in my mind right now, even as the dust settles around me.

I've come to realize that if my relationship with God was on par, growing and not stagnant, if I had known Him the way I do now, I would be able to recognize perfect love and anything that comes close to the way He loves me.  I would have learnt earlier how to love myself, and then be able to see that love when it is given to me and be able to give it in return.

So today I ask you this: How do you love yourself? Does the love you currently show yourself resemble God's Love for you?  And does the love you currently receive from your significant other mimic that?

 Originally published in 2011

Hakuna Matata - Success in my eyes.

Last night my sis took me to see Lion King 3D; what can I say my inner child loooooovveeess this movie.

While standing on the outskirts of all the parents trying to get food for their kids I watched a teenage boy and a girl interact. As they stood in the lobby the young man made fun of the girl's hair and her nose; It was obvious that she was disappointed; I overheard him ask her what it was that she wanted to eat and she said throwing her hands up in the air "I guess I'll have M&M's" the boy then stretched out his hand and  jested for the money. The young girl clearly tired / embarrassed of his antics just rolled her eyes and walked into the theatre obviously frustrated. I can imagine this would not be date to call the girlfriends up and gush over.

I said a prayer for that young girl, that she wouldn't compromise herself to make love happen, because that isn't love. I prayed she would be confident in herself to know she would be alright and that she doesn't need to chase love or men.  That in time the right one will find her.  I prayed for the young man too, that he would learn soon how a woman deserves to be treated and that being cocky and putting down a woman doesn't make you cool, it just makes you mean. 


I remember being a teenager, I remember the compromises I made because I wanted someone to like me.  Boy I wish I was honest with myself then, like I am learning to be now, would have saved myself a lot of heartache. But my mistakes, they are memories and they are lessons and I'm still learning, still becoming.

I wish I could say I don't worry for Love, I do.  I have a view of success and it may not fit into everyone else's view but that's the point of success, it's mine to own. So mine is, Being the best I can be at all I put my mind to; to be love; having a family; raising my children to be good people; to have good morals and values; to teach them the way of Christ in the hope that some day they can find Him and teach others. My view of success is living with love and fighting our battles together as man & woman & family& friends; it's growing old and having realized, I did the best I could with what I got; to have been blessed and been a blessing. To hear God say "Well done my good and faithful servant".

And as many of you may know, I've had a major setback on my road to success. I could totally use this time to go on an ultimate freak out because Hello I'm 25 and how in heavens am I gonna have 6 kids if I don't start now?????? but as Timon and Pumba reminded me last night Hakuna Matata which is Swahili for "There are no worries." And its true; there are no worries in God, I know God has got this; after all He knew me before I existed and my life is in His hand.

So as I sit here on my bed this cloudy Sunday evening with a strep throat to kill and an ear infection to die from, I'm encouraging you guys to Live and don't compromise yourself; and to not do that you have to know yourself; you have to be yourself.

What's your view of success?

Originally published in 2011

Good Friends help me get by

I started this week, quite upbeat, wanting to make it a different one from last week *insert sick face here* Monday I welcomed a friend back to work, and I got to thinking how some people add to the happy value of our lives.

The truth is life is hard, some roads require us to travel them alone and that makes it more difficult.  But our friends, our true friends, the ones that stick by us when we are ready to just pull over and say "I aint got no more"; the friends that pray us up, the friends that have that 6th sense to message you when you really need someone, the friends that pull up our bootstraps for us; rough us up a bit and tell it like it is, and the friends who are quiet when you just need their presence and nothing more.  Thank God for Good friends.


Needless to say, I'm on this hard road, and sometimes the rains beat down on me, the sun is just too hot and the road won't end; but then I look over and there is a good friend, and I remember, we are all traveling on a road, maybe a different kind.
 
The way I see it is that we are never alone. If no other human is in sight, God is.  And isn't He more than enough? He is for me.  We will never really be able to enjoy life with others if we can't enjoy it with just us and God.

Isaiah 43:2
"When you pass through the waters,
   I will be with you;
and when you pass through the rivers,
   they will not sweep over you.
When you walk through the fire,
   you will not be burned;
   the flames will not set you ablaze. "

Be encouraged and lets aim to look at the glass half full.  God is on our side and he is right there with you on this journey.

Don't Give Up!

Originally Posted in 2011

Study Notes 1.0

Make friends wherever you go;

Forgive yourself for the people that you have hurt;

Love yourself with your flaws;

Take chances; Tread lightly; Live.

Live, it is your only chance;

Love as if it is your last;

Do not worry about what tomorrow holds,

God is in control.

Originally Posted in 2011